so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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