If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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