We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
