Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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