That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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