so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
