think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
