is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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