She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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