Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
