One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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