We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize