Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
