My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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