he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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