She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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