Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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