Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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