clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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