When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
