Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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(518): View more from New York

All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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(515): View more from Iowa

you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza

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(213): View more from California

you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say

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(219): View more from Indiana

Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.

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(564): View more from Washington

Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.

(564): View more from Washington

Oh, wait.. That's you.

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