just come out here and I will go home with you...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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