We're like a lot better than the average bears
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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