i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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