Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
3 2 1 whiskey
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize