your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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