Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
