Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
