dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
