I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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