I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
