How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
