We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
