help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize