at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
