how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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