Come see our sink grown plant.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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