Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
