the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
