good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
