I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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