Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're too hungover to prance.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
