Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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