At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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