Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
