"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
