I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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