The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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