im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
