i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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