I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
