I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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