im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
