Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
