i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
