Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
