Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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