Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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