I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize