btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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