Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
