I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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