Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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