Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize