dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
